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Discover the Real You

by Dr. Kathleen Hall

We’ve all been there. Finding who we thought was the “right” person, having the best of times and then suddenly, you hit a rough patch! It’s hard to own up the truth, but the fault lies intrinsically within ourselves. Take the time to evaluate your relationship; Create a checklist of what you’ve learned and what you hope to achieve moving forward. This advice seems easier said than done and it is time to discover the real you!

Follow these steps, though, to discover the real you–the first step in being a truly Mindful Mate™.

  1. Safe opens you up to vulnerabilities. When you find yourself accepting faults, going along with excuses–wake up! You are merely dulling the pain and resentment that’s building up inside. Communicate with your partner and see about proactively addressing issues as they occur. A mindful, loving partner will listen to you and strive to fix whatever is ailing you and the relationship.
  2. Let go of the past. Once you voice your concerns, move forward with healing and forgiveness. If you aren’t willing to do that with the current person you are with, then it’s time for you to move on and accept that the “real” you just is not willing to compromise and be changed. And really, there’s nothing wrong with that and sticking to what makes you-you!
  3. Embrace the change. What have you learned through the changing tides of your emotions and feelings? Are you ready to move on? Being the real you and having a mindful relationship requires you to face yourself in the mirror and say: “I am me. I may have imperfections, but as a whole I am perfect.”
  4. The “real” issues. Abandon materialistic issues that may on the surface prevent you from having a loving relationship with your partner. These issues may be money related (security and achievement), physical appearances (is your initial attraction and love a product of image–if so, then move on and find someone else!) or a silly quirk/habit that annoys you (control issues). Really get to know where your energy originates to truly take steps to opening up to the real you.

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