Today is the testimony of Christine Blasey Ford and the Brett Kavanaugh hearing for his nomination to the Supreme Court. One of the members of our Tribe of women, who have met almost every Wednesday night for 10 years, had a great question last night at dinner. Abby asked, “Why did they believe the men who came forward against the priests in the Catholic Church 30 years after the assaults and they believed them but when a woman makes the same allegations she is immediately suspected of being a liar? A woman is accosted and dismissed for not coming forward sooner.”
The Disease of Misogyny
How far back in time to we have to go to realize our world, not just our culture, does not believe women? Why don’t we believe women? I remember going to trial with my mother decades ago for her divorce from my violent, terrifying father. We sat in front of a jury as my mother told horrendous stories of abuse and violence. I will never forget the difference on the jurors’ faces between my mother’s testimony and my father’s. My mother was depressed, flat and overwhelmed. My father was a professional salesman and his show on the stand was worth an Emmy. The jury loved him and doubted her. My heart was shattered and my confidence in women getting a fair shake in life was destroyed.
It’s the Same Man Speak Song and Dance
Bill Cosby had over 60 accusers of sexual assault over many decades and no one did a thing. Clarence Thomas sits on the Supreme Court after many other women accused him of sexual abuse. Do I even have to bring up the name Harvey Weinstein? Why don’t women report these assaults until many years later? I know why. Because we feel we did something to deserve it.
The same thing happened to me many years ago. A powerful doctor put a drug in my drink and all I remember is waking up. I never told a soul until right now. I was so ashamed for a host of reasons. Many of the reasons I loathed myself for years was I went to the party and I should have known by some mystical premonition that this physician was a predator, that I had a drink, that I was not careful, that I trusted the doctors and others at this party. Because I am telling my story now does that make me a liar, whore, loose woman?
We are Done With Victim Mentality
Women lets stand together and tell the truth. I believe you. I believe my story. Why would I or anyone else make this traumatic event up for God’s sake? Thank God for Gloria Allred and the other brilliant, powerful, feminist, committed women lawyers and advocates that have continually believed women. Let’s stand together in our power and authority women. We refuse to be victims of this patriarchal systems of perverted power and abuse. Lets advocate, vote, and create a new playing field for justice. Come on my sisters. It is Kairos! It is God’s time and our time!