Honesty

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Abbey,Most of us do not keep our New Year's Resolutions. Some of the reasons are that we list too many, we want to make a dramatic change, or we are not committed. Make only one resolution. Begin with a small change that is manageable. Finally, ask yourself if you are committed with your heart and mind to keep this resolution. Getting support from a buddy helps you stay committed, strong and focus on one small step at a time.

William, Be honest about not liking jewelry or gifts you receive. Believe me, I have been through this myself. Just sit down and tell the other person you love him or her, but this gift is not your taste. Your partner spent lots of money on a gift and wants it to be something you will wear or love. Ask to be a part of gift choices so it will really be something you love and will wear for a lifetime. I was honest many years ago with my husband. I told him our tastes in clothes and jewelry were totally different. If he wanted me to be happy and wear his gifts, I would have to choose my own jewelry and clothes. This took the pressure off him, and we have built on this honesty and been very happy with our gift-giving decisions our entire marriage.

Juliette, There are simple ways to help develop honesty in your family. Research continues to reveal the positive psychological virtues fostered by simply eating dinner together as a family. You create a forum for the cultivation of honesty and vulnerability when you take the time and commitment to celebrate food and share stories with each other. Each holiday is an opportunity to teach your children about the value of honesty. As you spend holiday time with other families, neighbors, and friends, you have the chance to observe, listen, and foster your children's honesty about their experiences. This can create the basis for a lifetime of rich, loving memories. Many of us do not have a biological family rooted in honesty. We are then challenged to create a nonbiological family where we can live in honesty. You can seek family in your community through special interest groups such as animal rescue groups, twelve-step programs, yoga and meditation groups, or gardening enthusiasts. Celebrate holidays, rituals, birthdays and losses with your supportive family. Anything is possible when we create a family environment where everyone is supported and loved in their journey to honesty and truth. Like an underground spring, the pressure is too great to keep it from spilling out sooner or later.

James, Where dishonesty is part of the corporate culture, there will be significant negative costs associated with its practice in the workplace. You don't have to embezzle $600 million to be dishonest at work. How about lying about what time you got to work? What about sneaking out for thirty minutes while at work or playing an online game on your employer's time? How about calling in sick to work and lying about being ill? How about taking products home from work and justifying it by telling yourself how hard you work and that you deserve these stolen products? The list of small dishonesties could go on for pages. But the truth is, you begin with the justification of dishonesty in the smallest of things, and then you grow numb to feeling guilty about being dishonest.

Ava, Honesty in the workplace creates energy, creativity, and productivity. Any one of us who owns or manages companies knows what a treasure it is to have staff who live in the light of honesty. They bring life and energy into a company and become a beacon for other employees. Simple practices are an easy way to begin. At staff meetings make sure all comments and ideas are received with respect and dignity. This makes everyone feel his or her input is valued and opens the atmosphere for more honesty. Make sure each manager has regular meetings with all staff members to tell them they are valued and that the managers deeply listen to their employees' concerns and ideas. You may begin to bring more honesty and truth into your work place in your own workspace. Display photos of your family, favorite pets, or great vacations. This tells those you work with what you love and who you are. Put your favorite inspirational quotes in a simple frame on your desk or wall. Visible truths that inspire and motivate you will keep you honest about who you are and what is important to you. It also inspires others in your office and gives them insight into the true you. Keep your favorite colors and fabrics around you at work. If you love orange, make sure you have a shawl, picture frame, chair, or wall painted with your favorite color. Surrounding ourselves and others with our favorite colors and meaningful mementos are methods of honesty in our workplace. As we begin to open up to others in our workplace, we share with others our intimate self. When one person is honest, others will join the flow, and the workplaces will function with more grace, ease, determination, and humility.

Joanna, To be honest is to have integrity, to be genuine and sincere, incorruptible, good, heartfelt, and natural. You are created to live out these magnificent words in your everyday life, inhale and exhale them with every breath, pour them into your children, channel them into your career, prayers, and dreams. Speaking the truth has an energy and life of its own; honesty can inspire generations of millions of human beings. I believe when you are honest, you are one with the Divine energy and propelled into a holy realm. The truth heals and lies destroy. Lies or dishonesty eat away at the person who tells them and dismantle all elements of our existence. Telling a lie is like volunteering for prison. You live a life of bondage when you live dishonestly. Living dishonestly causes exhaustion. Truth creates freedom and energy for the mind, body, and soul.

Noah,  Say something honest about yourself and then repeat it again. Now say something dishonest about yourself and repeat it. Do you notice a change not only in your emotions but also in your energy? When you are dishonest your eyes may blink, your blood pressure may change, and your heart may change its rhythm. You may believe living dishonestly is justified by your economic situation and that you can change later in life when your circumstances change. Just remember, the longer you avoid the truth, the greater price you will pay. When we avoid the truth about a relationship, the result can be infidelity or divorce. When we avoid the truth about our health, the result can be disease. When we avoid the truth about evil or oppression in our countries, it can result in wars. There is an old saying that I love: "Pay now or pay later." When you pay later, there are more consequences for your choices.

Julian, A fundamental element of psycho-therapeutic counseling is to discover the truth about the client's or patient's life. Different schools of psychology use various methods of discovery to aid the patients in disclosing the truth of their life. The counselor becomes the encourager or cheerleader as the patients explore their past and present life to uproot their conscious and unconscious secrets and lies. The belief system is, simply put, "The truth will set you free."

  Salena,  Twelve-step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and others, are founded in the requirement that one must believe that only a greater power of truth, your Higher Power, can restore one to sanity or health. The second step of the twelve-step program is "Come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Whatever our affliction or addiction may be, the source of our woundedness is rooted in our dishonesty about the way we are living our lives. The healing power of truth is seen in step five of the twelve steps: "Admit to God [or your Higher Power], to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." This means tell the truth. Surrender, be honest, and tell the truth about your life. For many this is the first time that they have the courage and support to be honest about their lives and the choices they have made. Twelve step programs are all about telling the truth and beginning to live an honest life of integrity with the connection of your Higher Power, or the Divine.

Anthony, We know what truth and honesty are, but we cannot always practice them on our own. Sometimes we have to ask for help from a Higher Power, God, religion, or various spiritual entities. We live in a diverse global world with our citizens practicing a wide variety of world religions. What do you know about how various religions experience the Divine in their dogma, doctrine, or sacred texts? Consider taking a world religion class at a local community college, or purchase a world religion book and explore other religions of the world. Discover the Divine in new ways. If you have not listened to the Divine in the silence of meditation, this could be the time to take a meditation class. Many find new meaning with the Divine through music or art. I took an amazing iconography class that challenged my previous experience of the Divine. I have studied with shamans in the midst of nature, and my concept of the Divine expanded beyond anything I would have imagined. I invite you to explore the many paths to the Divine. Your journey will be exciting, and you will be amazed to discover the wondrous other souls on a similar rich path to an extraordinary life. We each have a source or spring of our own, but to replenish it and keep it moving on a path we need to connect with the Divine, where there is always an abundance of holy water to both soothe and freshen.