Not all romantic relationships are meant to last forever. People change or they grow apart and that’s perfectly fine, but staying in a relationship that’s just not working can be emotionally hazardous. Sometimes it’s kinder for everyone involved to make a clean break. Even under the best circumstances, breakups can be complicated and heartbreaking. It’s best to break up with someone gently, but unfortunately, not everyone takes special care of other people’s feelings. In fact, in a survey, 80 percent of the participants believed that break-ups should be done face-to-face; however, 27 percent admitted to being dumped electronically (via email, IM or text). And 16 percent of the participants also admitted to being dumped when the other person simply stopped staying in touch.
When it comes to ending a relationship it’s best to take a Mindful approach. Here are a few tips for gently ending a romantic relationship:
- Be sure and confident in your decision. Take some time to mindfully reflect on your relationship. Make a pros-and-cons list if it helps or simply list what it is you want in life and then decide whether or not this relationship helps you achieve your goals. Consider your options and see if there is a way that your relationship can be mended.
- Avoid classic breakup pitfalls. If your final decision is to end the relationship try to avoid common breakup mistakes like procrastinating, distancing yourself, or rushing into a breakup. Putting off a breakup and distancing yourself will only hurt the other person more in the long run. Rushing into a break up before you have thought of a gentle way of handling the situation can cause pain unintentionally.
- Make mindful plans. Think over what you want to say and anticipate their reactions. To ensure that you’re being gentle and respectful, try talking it over with someone you trust and ask for their opinion. When you’re ready to proceed avoid electronic confrontation and instead have a discussion with them in person.
- Be honest, not hurtful. Be kind; start by letting them know what you have valued about this relationship. Be honest; tell them truthfully why you want to breakup. However, don’t use this honest moment to be mean or critical. Take responsibility for your faults that contributed to end of the relationship. Lastly, don’t give false hope. If you have no intention to reconcile, don’t say that you temporarily want some space.
- Listen and give them some space. Be sure to listen to what the other person has to say and be sure to give them some space. This will give the both of you time to heal and move on.